dreams

i just remember seeing us sitting in this room. a solarium of sorts, the sky beyond is grey and dull, and i sense the ocean nearby. youve changed. you're not the girl you were and i'm saddened by it. your face is different, the slanted eyebrows look like those of a possessed human, you look evil. a sneer is constantly criss crossing your face like a living scar and even with that grey hoodie you always wear, its like looking at a loved pet after its gotten rabies. you're snide, you're moving fast and out of control, like a wrecking ball dropped down fifth avenue, lost and dangerous, an angry problem child with gun, everyone within range ducking and dodging hoping they aren't the next ones brought down. and we sit, and your whole family is there with us, and your mom is speaking and everyone else is trying not to look at us altho i know she is speaking for all of them too. even her voice sounds different, like the voices of everyone in the room was recorded and played back at the same time. and we sit on the floor, your moms on the couch, whole family behind her, the TVs going but no one is listening, perhaps its muted, but we're sitting on the floor, seperated by about 5 feet of empty carpet, not sitting together in the manner we usually do and your mom looks at me and says "you need to fix this. this is wrong". and i say "whats wrong?" and she points not to me or to you and doesnt look at me or at you, but to the five feet of emtpy carpet space between us and says "that. fix it. its just wrong."